I have decided to move

I am not very technologically savvy.  So I have moved my blog to wordpress.com
 here's the new blog site...
fattofabulousoverforty.wordpress.com

Here we go again... what's my motivation?

Once again, I am faced with the fact that I have tried to lose weight and have failed.  I thought that maybe doing a blog would help me be accountable and would keep me motivated.  That would be a big fat "NO." 

So, why am I here again?  Because I realized that for me, all the weight loss books, articles, and such were wrong.  Doing it "Just for me" wasn't enough, I needed a better motivation, a real reason for doing this and I found it, in a huge way!

I have a precious daughter.  She was our gift from the Lord.   We were told that we would most likely never have children.  I have a malformed uterus, actually called a uterus didelphys.  If we did conceive, the doctor told us we would have many miscarriages and really only a 70% chance of carrying a baby to term.  The Lord was very gracious, we had our sweet V in May of 1999.  

Fast forward 12 years...I had been homeschooling V for 3 years at this time and we had hit a really rough patch.  With the combination of hormones from both of us, it was now pretty rough. At times there were more tears than lessons! I was ready to put her back in school and she was willing to go.  I went to her room to apologise for not being a kind mother/teacher and I found her writing a note.  She was listing all the things that she disliked about me, my character flaws.  The one that stuck out was... "My mom says she wants to lose weight, but she never does.  I'm afraid that she will die!" Ouch! I took the note and put it in my wallet with the intent to use it as motivation.  But just like a lot of stuff in my wallet, I forgot about it until a few weeks ago...

While organizing my bedroom, I found the note in a box. Ouch, again! It was just like in the movies when a person gets bad news, they slump onto the bed in disbelief.  I did just that. I sat down and started to cry, freshly reminded of the fact that I was not only hurting myself, but my family too.

So here's my motivation... I want to be healthy for my husband, so he and I can live a full life and doesn't have to raise our daughter alone. I want to be healthy for my daughter, so she has a mom that can keep up with her and will be here for her. I want to be healthy for me, so that I am not hindered by my weight.  I have many dreams, wishes and  Lord willing, I might just get to fulfill some of them!